Even paradise can’t fix your head
I’m back in Mojácar, Spain, for three months.
By the end of my time here last year, my head was in a bit of a state.
I learnt that it doesn’t matter where we are, how beautiful the surroundings, how comfortable the company, if our head’s not OK, we can still feel overwhelmed.
Even dark.
On top of that came the shame-inducing thoughts:
How ungrateful am I?
To be in such a gorgeous place and not feel on top of the world?
It’s helped me think about this…
How we try to curate our outer world to fix our inner world, and then often feel ashamed when it doesn’t work.
It’s the same with alcohol.
We reach for it to change how we feel—hoping that if we can just tweak the outside, the inside will follow.
So this year, when I noticed I was feeling anxious about coming back…
I checked my head.
I reminded myself: I have choices about how this trip goes.
The most important one was to let go of all expectations.
Let it be what it’s going to be.
That’s the real work.
To loosen our grip on how things should be or shouldn’t be.
To stop trying to script the outcome.
Scary stuff?
Absolutely.
But the payoff is worth it—to relax and stop struggling to control everything.
When we do that, we become more present.
More aware.
Less reactive.
Which is lucky really…
As it’s rained every day since we’ve been here. 😉
So the question I’m thinking about this week is this…
What is it we’re trying to fix inside by rearranging the outside?